8/23/2023 0 Comments Age of wonders 3 mountsIf it were possible to sell unwanted mounts, my kingdom would be fueled by the tears of baby unicorns. Where mid-’00s Hollywood had the purse dog, I had the satchel wyvern. Vampire Spider, for blight protection? Or Bone Wyvern, for flying over walls and adding a much-needed touch of hair metal chic. My armies milled around while I weighed my options, trying to decide what goes against Goblin Warlord this season. ![]() The day I remembered that heroes can carry unused mounts in their packs, crumpled up in the bottom like so much Kendal Mint Cake, was the day I started to hang around city gates like an awkward babygoth outside McDonalds 1. I dream of modding the game so my leader can stand, one foot on each mount, and waterski twin unicorns across the battlefield. It will spend its life in a custody battle that nobody wants to win. When it hatches, I will ship it off to a distant hero and when it arrives I will tell him to send it back. This spiderling will have no rider, but still I summon. Wandering ghosts take over my watchtowers and bandits stalk the outskirts of my land, and I sit on my daintily-robed arse, waiting for Dread Spider #3 to gnaw its way through the shell.Īll my heroes are saddled up on something that flies, prances, lollops, or skitters. I become a tennis ball machine of hellhound eggs. I stop raiding tombs, building cities, or, in fact, doing anything except casting it. Once I research this spell, my game enters a death spiral. I like to call it the Unpredictable Wyvern Effect. There’s a theory that this is the same sporadic reward system that makes humans drop our rent money into slot machines. It will hammer on that button until its little velvety paws quiver with exhaustion, hoard what it gets, and take more than it needs to. But if the button is unreliable, only paying out five times out of ten, that rat will lose its tiny shit. I was the reason the RSPCA makes adverts.ĭid you know that if you give a rat a button which provides it with a pellet, it will largely use it as and when it needs to? The stability keeps it calm. My lands were littered with abandoned eggs, discarded the moment I realised the reptile within was flightless. Or a raptor, because what more would you want from forty mana than a bow-legged, land-locked lizard? I never allowed them to hatch. There is a mid-level Sorcerer spell called Invoke Extraordinary Mount, and it is exactly what it sounds like: you do an invocation, you get a mount, and it will be extraordinary. ![]() Age of Wonders 3 is a beautiful game and I mostly use it to do terrible things to wyverns.
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